(re)Designing Life

April 19, 2018

I hadn’t blogged in quite a while because of a recent life event… the sudden passing of my Significant Other of twenty-one years. While our relationship was predominantly weekend-based (me living in Chicago and he living in nearby Indiana) I always looked forward to our time together. I still find myself wanting to share some trivial weekday anecdotes when he comes on the weekend… but, alas. I find myself having to seek out other weekend dérives.

Mike was very supportive of my creative expression, even going so far as to collaborate on random projects. We had many a squabble over the right pattern of rug for our Mid-Century Moroccan “glamping” theme, or the intuitive tweaks he suggested for the roof of my still-in-progress tent design prototype. It was quite melancholy and surreal to be taking down from his bedroom wall an ink drawing I had previously gifted him for a birthday. I still ponder over a vintage lamp we picked out together, situated in a corner of my living room, behind a lounge chair he often fall asleep in.

I loved the overlapping contrast of our aesthetic viewpoints, cultivated by an undercurrent of competitive admiration. The creative tug-of-war tempered amazing results. Out of that friendly friction came a few triumphs that will be revered, ad infinitum. Our holiday “Candlelight Buffets”, inspired by the British sit-com “Keeping Up Appearances”, were highly-anticipated, while our spontaneous-but-coaxed acapella duets of the “All in the Family” theme song were met with laughter and delight. Those WERE the days.

Whether we were traversing the aggressive swells of the Pacific Ocean on a Hobie-Cat or binge-watching “Man in the High Castle” on Amazon Prime, we had designed a mutual life for ourselves that was conducive to both our needs. It allowed room for each to be genuine to each other as well as ourselves. In his absence, I must continue, shored by the buttress of fond and sustainable memories. In essence, I will be redesigning my life. I miss you, Mike.

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